“Don’t get me anything.” Helpful words from a man who will still be sitting beside the Christmas tree when the presents come out.
Buying for someone who says he wants nothing does not have to mean guessing at another gadget or choosing something expensive just to make it feel worthwhile. Sometimes the better gift is a small keepsake that shows you know him: his favourite hobby, his closest friendships or his impressive commitment to never taking himself too seriously.
Our Old Bastards’ Club coin collection takes that approach. These cheeky lifetime-member designs give you a way to say, “This is definitely you”, whether you are shopping for your dad, grandad, brother, partner or oldest mate.
The trick is choosing his club. Here are six places to start.
Jump to a section
- What to buy the man who wants nothing
- For the man who would rather be fishing
- For the player who is always all in
- For your brother or brother by choice
- For the veteran with an irreverent sense of humour
- For the friend who has heard every story
- For the whiskey enthusiast
- Make his Christmas gift feel personal
- Explore more Christmas coin gifts
What Do You Buy the Man Who Wants Nothing?
When someone is not asking for anything practical, it helps to stop thinking about what he needs and start thinking about what he enjoys.
Perhaps he spends every spare morning fishing. Perhaps poker night is the one appointment he never forgets. Or perhaps his greatest talent is turning a quiet catch-up into an evening of familiar stories and questionable jokes.
A gift connected to those things can feel personal without becoming overly sentimental. That is where a humorous club coin comes in: a collectible he can keep, show his mates and explain with a grin.
Despite the collection’s name, these designs are not reserved for older men. A younger brother with an old soul may enjoy the joke as much as a grandad who considers himself a founding member. Choose by personality, not simply by age.
And be honest about the humour. The “Old Bastards” wording is deliberately cheeky. For someone who enjoys affectionate teasing, that is part of the appeal. For someone who does not, a different design will make a better gift.
For the Man Who Would Rather Be Fishing
You probably do not need to ask whether he likes fishing. The weather checks, early starts and stories about previous catches have already answered that.
The Old Bastards’ Fishing Club Coin brings his favourite pastime into a cheeky lifetime-member theme. It is a fitting Christmas keepsake for a dad, grandad, brother or friend whose ideal day involves getting out on the water.
It also recognises the social side of fishing: the company, the conversations and the stories that seem to improve with every telling. If you fish together, the coin can become a reminder of those shared outings rather than simply another fishing-themed object.
Pair it with a note that says, “For our next trip, and the one that got away.”
Take a closer look at the Fishing Club Coin.
For the Player Who Is Always All In
Some men say they want nothing, then spend poker night explaining exactly what everyone else should have done.
The Old Bastards’ Poker Club Coin is a Christmas gift for that kind of character. Its “100% TOO OLD” and “ALL IN ANYWAY” wording captures the player whose confidence has remained completely untouched by the previous hand.
The suited skeleton, sunglasses-wearing dog and card-room scene give the design plenty to enjoy up close. On the reverse, the royal flush, poker chips and “BLUFF, DRINK & DEAL AGAIN” motto continue the theme.
Choose it for the regular host, your card-playing brother or the grandad who insists experience will eventually beat everyone else’s luck. It gives him a keepsake connected to the evenings he already looks forward to.
A suitable gift message? “For the man who never folds, even when he probably should.”
For Your Brother, or Your Brother by Choice
Buying for a brother can be strangely difficult. You know him well enough to reject dozens of ideas, but that does not always make the right one obvious.
The Old Bastards’ Brotherhood Club Coin offers a way to acknowledge the bond without turning Christmas morning into an unexpectedly emotional speech.
It can suit a brother by family or a close friend who has become one over the years. The club idea makes the sentiment playful: you have been through plenty together, and neither of you is getting out of the membership now.
For a relationship built on loyalty, shared history and relentless teasing, that balance can feel just right.
Keep the accompanying message simple: “Lifetime membership. No cancellations.”
Discover the Brotherhood Club Coin.
For the Veteran with an Irreverent Sense of Humour
A service connection can make a gift meaningful, but the recipient’s personality still matters. Some men prefer a formal tribute; others would much rather receive something with a joke attached.
The Old Bastards’ Veteran Club Coin belongs firmly in the second category. Consider it for someone who connects with the veteran theme and genuinely enjoys the collection’s irreverent approach.
Choose thoughtfully rather than assuming the wording will suit every veteran. This is a humorous themed collectible, not an official award or proof of service, and the best reason to give it is that you know he will appreciate it.
A personal note about why the design reminded you of him will mean more than a generic message.
For the Friend Who Has Heard Every Story
Every long friendship develops its own collection of repeated stories, familiar jokes and conversations that can resume as though no time has passed.
The Old Bastards’ Friendship Club Lifetime Member Coin celebrates that kind of connection with a suitably cheeky name.
It is a Christmas option for an old mate, a brother who is also your closest friend or someone who has been part of your life long enough to know far too much. You do not need a milestone birthday or an elaborate occasion to acknowledge that.
The gift can say something warm while still sounding like you. Try: “Thanks for the laughs. Unfortunately, your membership is permanent.”
Find the Friendship Club Coin here.
For the Man Who Appreciates a Good Dram
If he enjoys discussing his favourite bottle almost as much as pouring it, a whiskey-themed gift gives you a clear direction.
The Old Bastards’ Whiskey Club Coin offers an alternative to buying another bottle. It recognises the interest while giving him something different to keep.
It could suit a dad with a favourite evening dram, a partner who enjoys a tasting or a friend whose drinks cabinet comes with a surprisingly detailed commentary.
Choose it because the theme fits him, then add a message such as, “For the club’s most opinionated tasting expert.”
Explore the Whiskey Club Coin.
Make His Christmas Gift Feel Personal
A funny gift works best when the recipient understands immediately why you chose it. Before deciding, ask yourself which part of his personality you are recognising: the hobby he never tires of, the friendship you share or the joke he would happily make about himself.
Look at both faces of the coin and read the individual product details. Make sure the wording and imagery fit the person, rather than choosing solely because the club name makes you laugh.
Then give the gift a little context. Tuck it into a Christmas card with a handwritten message, wrap it as a small present or pair it with something connected to a shared activity. You do not need elaborate presentation to make the thought behind it clear.
For more ideas across different interests and relationships, explore our guide to coin gifts for men, from sons and brothers to dads and grandads.
Find His Club, or Choose Something Festive
The man who says he wants nothing may not be asking for another possession. But a gift that recognises his humour, hobbies or friendships can still give him a reason to smile.
Start with the Old Bastards’ Club collection and find the membership that sounds most like him.
If you would prefer the design itself to carry a festive theme, explore our Christmas Coins collection for more seasonal gift ideas.
He said he wanted nothing. You found something that feels like him.
Because every collection deserves one more coin.
